*Life is about creating balance, not suppressing your good & not suppressing your bad. For one cannot exist without the other, embrace them equally*
I think this post is a little well-overdue but when am I ever on time for anything, right?! What can I say…Life happens.
If you’ve been keeping up with me on Instagram (10/10 would recommend, whenever I am on hiatus from here you can find me there) you may have noticed a pretty strong shift in my #content. And I wanted to address that here, because I’m not talking about a change in theme going from shadow-y pics to bright & white pics like everyone & their mother… but I’m talking about a deeper, more meaningful journey to self-discovery and a better life.
Let’s start with the obvious, I quit my job.
I quit my job, & I could NOT be happier. Not by any fault of the company or of myself, but because I just felt like I was losing my place in the world for what I actually cared about. I couldn’t understand how this was supposed to be representative of how the rest of my life would play out.
So millennial of me, isn’t it?
Look, I don’t want to focus too much on the WHY I quit my job, but instead on the shift it allowed me to cause within myself once I had time to address my overall unhappiness & identify where I got off track.
Over the past few years, I had really fallen into a rut of waking up, going through the motions, and going to sleep. I wasn’t this totally mopey person or anything like that, but I had really lost any interest in taking care of myself or doing things that I loved (like exercising, cooking healthy WW-friendly meals, etc.) because I fell into the trap of being “too busy” “too tired” or “too stressed.”
That’s when I realized that I needed to take a step back & re-evaluate the direction that I was headed in. I would binge-eat on food, using it as a crutch whenever I was unhappy or upset. I would drink to extremes just because it would help make the day seem less shitty. I avoided exercise because I didn’t think it would really make a difference to my mood so why bother?
I have no idea who that girl is, because that person definitely isn’t me. Yet she kept rearing her ugly head whenever things got stressful or overwhelming at work, which felt like it was all the time. Work was my trigger, & the antidotes that I had adopted were likely to kill me if I kept them up.
So one day, I just decided to….stop.
I’ve never been a quitter, but I know when I am in over my head and I knew that I needed to step back and spend some time repairing the damage I had done to both my body & my mind. And there’s nothing wrong with that. The amount of support that I received from my little community (I am a PR girl, so my friends span across industries as well as geographical locales) was unbelievable. The outpouring of love was endless, & I knew that I had truly experienced something special in it’s own way at that particular professional position.
So what now, you might ask? Well. Now, I wake up & spend time cooking myself a nourishing breakfast at home. Then I’ll either hit the gym or head out for a different sort of work for the day. I’ll end the night with a workout, either an in-person class or with the help of good old YOUTUBE and cook dinner for my partner. We’ll wind down with some trashy TV & call it a night.
And you know what? It’s working. I can feel myself coming into my own. Healing is a slow & steady process, but I’m lucky to have the support of my partner and my family, for which I will be forever grateful. I’m on the brink of launching a few exciting creative initiatives, including a business (!!!!) that will allow me to do what I know I’m good at in order to help others.
This process has been scary, but in a good way. I’m learning to practice what I preach, and I’ve found that a daily mantra is a small but meaningful way for me to check in with how I’m feeling & set my intention for the day. I invite you to follow along on the ‘gram, & keep an eye for more personal content coming to this little blog-doo in the coming weeks.
It’s time to create balance & I’m excited to bring you along on this personal journey 🙂