Hey girl, whassup?
I saw you from across the quad the other day and I just had to write you to ask you a few questions. You were with your gaggle of sorority sisters, I could tell from the symbols (apparently letters) that I definitely can’t read emblazoned across your chest and you all walked right on by me. I think you must have just put Starbucks out of business from the obvious amount of excessive Pumpkin Spice Latte’s you were all toting with you but who’s judging you on that? I’m sure that your actual Starbucks order is more like a math equation as opposed to a drink, but again…what do I know?
I’m going to be honest here and say that I really don’t know too much about see-through clothes. My mom instilled in me from a young age that certain things are not meant to be hanging out, which led to me wearing a red fuzzy jacket from Land’s End 24/7 from Kindergarten to 5th grade. When that whole “Mean Girls” Halloween thing started to happen where apparently clothing was optional I chose to be a ghost and hide under a floor-length sheet the whole night. So there’s that.
Anyway, I noticed that your leggings were particularly see-through today and I have to commend you on your cojones because girl. I could never. Your thong was particularly adorable, were those little hearts that I saw or smiley faces? I obviously wasn’t going to get too up close and personal to check it out because that might have been a little creepy but I assume you wanted me to say something considering it was all out there for the world to see, you know?
In fact, let me apologize here for all of the staring on my part. It isn’t like, a look of total disgust or anything but more of a look coming from a place of concern because do you KNOW that your thong is hanging out for the world to see? Or that literally EVERYONE can see the mole that you have on your butt because your leggings probably shouldn’t be worn in public?
And coming from someone who doesn’t do the whole “legging” thing too often, I have to ask if that wedgie you gave yourself in order to show off that super cute thong is uncomfortable or not. It kind of looks like it from where I’m standing, but again I don’t really know these things…is it super breezy up there? Considering there’s practically no material covering your ass, you probably get a really nice cross-wind on blustery days. That’s probably a super nice perk to compensate for the gigantic wedgie deal.
And I have to ask, are the UGGs a necessary component of your overall look? I just find it a little weird that you let it all hang out on top then you thrown on a pair of literal snow boots to complete your outfit. I don’t know, I think that’s a little like wearing shorts with a long-sleeve shirt…ass backwards.
More power to you though, because if you can walk around like that without a care in the world then I obviously have something to learn from you. I appreciate all that you’re doing for empowering women to wear whatever the hell they want because if you’re going to wear cute underwear then god dammit everyone else in the world is going to appreciate it too (hey, we pay good money for that Victoria’s Secret underwear, I got you). Keep doing you, and I’ll keep making sure that I always check my pants in the mirror before I dare step foot outside of my apartment.